Science
Jerusalem - Archeologists Dr. Michael Dunklin and Dr. Zane Barrett have spent over 10 years of their life searching for the famed Temple of Solomon, a central monument in biblical archeology. According to Christian Tradition and Scripture, Solomon's Temple was the first temple that housed the Holy of Holies - where God himself resided.
Last month, while searching in Jerusalem, the two archeologists stumbled on a wall that had the name Solomon inscribed at the base. "We immediately knew that we had come across something big, “said Zane Barrett, "you typically see bogus inscriptions like these on ancient architecture, but the composition of the markings were astonishing and definitely dated around the time of Solomon." The two continued to unearth further evidence of the temple throughout the day.
That night, as the scientists were about to retire, something happened that unexpectedly changed their expedition for the worse. "Two men that we had met a week earlier at a local golf course were waiting at our tent," explained Professor Dunklin, "they were as cheerful as we remembered them and offered to prepare dinner, serve wine, and provide entertainment for us that night. How could we refuse such hospitality? Especially since they came to our tent just for the sake of making us feel comfortable."Â
Throughout the night, the two guests treated the two professors like royalty. "They did everything they promised, and even made dessert.  Afterward, they challenged us to a game of good ol' Texas Hold'em.During the game, horrible noises from outside began to resonate throughout the tent. "We asked our guests what was up with the noises," sighed Dr. Barrett, "but they assured us that it was normal and that it was just angry camels fighting outside. I argued with them and said that it sounded exactly like a Ford F150 with a 5.4 L (330 CID) Triton V8 engine. Brushing me off, they said that most outsiders say that exact same thing when camels fight."Â
As they continued to play, both archeologists became increasingly agitated over the noise that was being heard outside. Dr. Barrett got out of his seat to investigate, only to be blocked by one of the locals who assured him that it would be safer to remain inside. "I got upset and swore that I heard the distinctive sound of a Caterpillar inc. D11 tractor with a CAT 3508B (D11R CD) engine blasting away outside. My local friend responded hesitantly in his broken dialect saying 'No sir, that is the camel passing the gas. They are very angry sir.'"After about an hour, the noise died and the two men bid a hasty farewell to Dr. Dunklin and Barrett and went off - never to be seen again.Â
The next morning the two archeologists prepared to continue their research only to find a huge hole in the ground where their inscribed wall once stood. The entire Temple of Solomon was stolen out from under them. Lamenting, all Dr. Barrett could tell us without shedding tears was "if it weren't for the flatulent angry camels, we wouldn't have lost this piece of history to thieves."
"It's hard to do biblical research and market research at the same time," explains David Westrom, President of ODEAR, "Many of our members just don't have the time to do this while still maintaining their day jobs on the farm or at Wal-Mart." Many of ODEAR's members have left because of the financial and intellectual strain put on them in the past few years. Mr. Westrom goes on to assert that "if these wacko environmentalists don't stop preaching about the destruction of the earth they'll eventually have half or even all of the market, especially if they start to make their predictions earlier than we do."
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